Mentally Preparing for your Fitness Goals
I see it time and time again; I take on a new client, starry eyed and foaming at the mouth to get started on their fitness journey. Only after getting the plan do they fall short of even preparing the first meal, hitting the first workout or even getting the right amount of water in on a single day. So what happened?
Early in my career I couldn’t see the signs. I assumed everyone was mentally prepared and they would follow whatever plan I laid out for them. Needless to say this was actually rarely the case. I discovered after some time how to identify those that were truly ready to dig their heels in and make some life changes. Over time I began to not only be able to identify the ones that were truly ready, but I began attracting them as well. I began to realize I can set expectations, provide motivation, but I can never make someone ready myself. For the ones that weren’t quite there, I would often let them down gently on our conversation. They had work to do before seeing me. Or, for those partially there mentally, I would structure a more flexible approach and manage their expectations for their results. Many of these partially prepared clients would eventually get tired of not getting the results they wanted and would commit little by little. The others would just throw in the towel at some point.
Most of the mentally unprepared would rely on some extrinsic motivator to get them off the couch and as soon as a workout became inconvenient or difficult they were gone. If they missed a single workout they would throw the baby out with the bathwater instead of just counting their losses and hopping back on the horse. They failed to take the time to build the habits and stop giving themselves outs and when the new Tony Robbins seminar wouldn’t get them moving they were back in the same spot they had started. That’s because motivation is quick burning fuel while habits burn long and slow. Motivation is few and far between and may from time to time get you under the squat bar, but habits will meet you there day in and day out despite the circumstances or fleeting emotions around the workout.
The hard truth of fitness and substantially changes the appearance of the body is this…. There are NO shortcuts. There are NO magic pills. There is no one size fits all approach, BEST diets, 6 minute workout routines, or fitness gadget that is going to make you look like the man or woman on the fitness magazine cover. Unfortunately for some of us, these cover models are a product of years of discipline and sacrifice. And anything that tells you otherwise is probably peddling snake oil masked as a diet pill, quick workout routine or too good to be true approach. Just like there are no get rich quick methods, there are even less get fit quick methods. There is no fooling biology.
So what does it truly take to make substantial changes in your health and appearance? In a single word…. change. Change is tough. Change is uncomfortable. But, change will set you free! The sooner you understand that and implement change, the faster you will move in the right direction. To create true and long term change it takes one being truly mentally ready.
On the other hand I have seen those that are truly ready. They are sick of being sick, obese, or playing victim to what people told them about their health and genetics. Sometimes they are another type of person who has been putting in work in the gym for a long period and they are, for some time, stuck. They often refuse to believe that their diet really matters. They often go to the gym just to cross it off the list. They often are inconsistently hitting hours of cardio because they’ve guilted into it by eating poorly, thinking the punishment method is going to fix their mental lack of readiness. These clients are often even harder to work with because they think they are doing what it takes, when really they are doing, half heartedly, what they’ve been told they SHOULD.
Mental preparedness is absolutely essential for any endeavor. But being mentally prepared isn’t just a matter of being ready for change, but being ready TO change. Often we can’t get to this state because we are hung up mentally. Perhaps we are telling ourselves the wrong narrative. Maybe we are addicted to food or alcohol and refuse to give up what “makes us happy”. Maybe we half believe that if we start a new fad diet it will fix all of our problems. Whatever the mental hang up is, you simply will not change long term with the obstacle in your way. Sure, you may twist your arm enough for days and weeks on end, getting to the gym and eating a bit better. But, it’s often to sabotage yourself in the future. You may be a ticking time bomb ready to question, doubt and self sabotage your way out of any actual progress. It pains me to say, but you may fall flat, blame your surroundings or fall into the guilt trap and throw in the towel only to repeat the cycle year in and year out. Why do you think the gym is so packed the first month of the year and often desolate the remaining 11 months? Because our culture perpetuates the same mistakes.
Unfortunately, this is the demise of most starting their fitness journeys. It pains me to see but it is a harsh truth to the mental states of the general public. Before you start thinking I am speaking failure over you or coming down on you (if you fit this mold), I can offer you hope. What you are experiencing many are experiencing. It’s not easy to make life inconvenient, difficult or less enjoyable. It’s not easy to feel like you are missing out on going out with friends, eating what you please or painfully pushing yourself in the gym. In fact it’s utterly unhuman to swim upstream. We are programmed to conserve energy by over eating and moving less. And our modern environments lend very well to these tendencies.
The inconvenient truth is fitness and anything worth achieving in life is a constant, daily, uphill march. The sooner we understand and conform to this, the sooner we will start achieving in all of life. The things we want in life require effort. Not for a time, but consistently over long periods. But I can tell you this from personal experience… True joy comes from the struggle. Anything not worked for is not valued and anything given is squandered. So I encourage you on this journey to embrace the discomfort and learn to live for the long term reward and not short term pleasure. Make more deposits than withdrawals in life. The great thing is that life is much more enjoyable with balance. Pleasure all the time is actually misery and will lead you to an early grave. Periodic pleasure in balance of work and discomfort is the great balance we must all create.
I encourage you to dig deep. What’s stopping you? What narrative are you telling yourself? Are your self sabotaging habits based on a lack of belief? Are they based on believing what someone told you you are? Are they based on the idea that you don’t deserve to be happy and healthy? Here is an exercise to help you identify the narratives that are causing you to quit early, or for some never even start.
Write down 3 reasons you want to get in better shape, improve health or the way you look.
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Write down 3 default things you tell yourself about getting in shape.
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Write down 3 things that you won’t do when it comes to health and fitness.
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Write down 3 things that you can’t do when it comes to health and fitness.
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Describe how you feel about yourself in 3 words.
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The first thing to do to overcome your mental lack of preparedness is to become aware of the false narratives. Where are these narratives coming from? From past failures? From the opinions of others? It is important that we begin to break the mold of what we previously thought of ourselves if it is holding us back. Once we identify these, we need to change the narrative. We need to step outside of the false thought patterns and realize thoughts do not define us and that they can be changed. Ask yourself if these things you say about yourself are really true. Watch the way that you respond and patterns of thought you fall into that are negative. Begin to rewrite this narrative. Offer alternatives to the narrative. Will you never get in shape or have you had setbacks? Are you unhealthy because everyone in your family is unhealthy or because you’ve adopted generational habits that are unhealthy? Are you obese because you were born to be or because you haven’t developed healthy habits? Take responsibility for your actions by first taking inventory of your default thoughts. Rewrite these thoughts. Take your time. This takes lots of practice. What you believe is very indicative of what you tell yourself. Work first and foremost on what you tell yourself. Only when we do this can we shake off the past, doubt, and discouragement and take charge. Only then are you ready to make change because you now know change is not only necessary but also that it’s possible.
